Wednesday, November 19, 2008

007: No Good, Just Bad and Ugly

We saw the new James Blonde movie, Squanto of Hollis, or whatever.

It is godawful.

Never mind that during the chase scenes and fight scenes, the camera angles are so tight that you can't tell who's chasing whom, who's winning the fight, or sometimes, even who's involved.

Never mind also that the "evil villain" is a guy you knew in 5th grade who always got picked last for Kickball at recess.

And nevermind that his evil plan doesn't involve world domination, a space shuttle, or even an underground lair with a cleverly concealed escape pod – rather it involves *spoiler alert* cornering 60% of the Bolivian water market (I'm not inventing this, I swear). Not even 100%. Just 60%.

No. All of that pales in comparison to the bad news I have for you now.

Olga Kurylenko is, hands down, the most boring Bond Girl ever.


To make up for all the Kurylenko photos we've already posted, we're giving you this one instead. And we're giving you a hot tip: skip the movie!

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