We were excited to hear that the
Miss USA Pageant was going on this week. We identified
three eyebrow candidates from among the 10 finalists, grabbed bikini pictures from the official web site, and then moved in for the headshots. But
we were horrified by what we found.
Every one of the close-up headshots has some
wacky Photoshop-induced eyebrow madness in it! They reduced the eyebrow noise and blurred them into nonsense shapes and it's a horror.
Behold:Alicia-Monique Blanco, Miss Arizona:
Maria Elizabeth Montgomery, Miss Kentucky:
Laura Kirilova Chukanov, Miss Utah:

We voted and unanimously selected
Maria, Miss Kentucky. But we're not sure what we're seeing has any connection to reality. Or
whatever passes for reality in a beauty pageant.